when there’s a fire, don’t forget to stop, drop and pop it, lock it, polka dot it, country-fy it and hip-hop it
I wish my friends would take random pictures of me when we hang out because I’m an arrogant prick and I want more pictures of myself that aren’t selfies.
So my older brother was in a book store and picked up a book about the difficulties faced by same sex parents in society today when a woman came up and bitched him out for being “too young to be reading a book about THAT sort of people.” He saw that she was carrying the third Hunger Games Book so he stared her dead in the eyes and hissed “Prim dies.” and walked away and I have never been prouder to have him as my sibling.
how much do islands cost i want one
Less than a college education
what the fuck
OKAY THE FACT THAT ‘IMAGES’ IS NO LONGER THE SECOND LINK ON GOOGLE IS DRIVING ME UP THE WALL
NO I DON’T WANT TO WATCH VIDEOS
NO I DON’T WANT TO GO SHOPPING
JUST TAKE ME TO THE FRICKING IMAGES
mother: is it a boy or a girl?
doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor
this is so illegal. we’re going to get in so much trouble. you cant just steal all the sand from the beach and replace it with bread crumbs